It has happened to all of us at some point in our lives. We’ve neglected our pussies and allowed their hair to get out of control. The end result is not pretty, the hair can get knotted, excrement has a tendency to get stuck in the hair, and at the end of the day, nobody likes the look of a hairy pussy. To top it all off, if you ever show it to somebody new, chances are they are not going to want to pet it, if it is not well groomed.
Well, after 8 months of neglecting my pussy, I finally decided that it was time to shave that little bitch. I didn’t go for the full bald look, because I though that might be inappropriate. Instead of left some strategically placed hair, to provide a more mature, aggressive look. Instead of doing all the leg work myself, I employed a professional who specialty lies in shaving pussies. The cost was not cheap, but she did a great job.
Now, you haven’t come here just to read my story, I’m sure you’d like to see my detailed photographs, documenting the progress.
Voila….
This is a before picture of my pussy, her name is Stevie. She enjoys long naps, eating, and more long naps. When you can’t find Stevie napping, you will most definitely find her at her food bowl. If by some fluke chance you catch Stevie neither sleeping, or eating, chances are she is peeing on my bed. Nothing beats sleeping in steaming fresh cat piss.
As you can tell she has quite the fur.
Now, on to the pussy shaving…
After roughly 45 minutes of shaving my kitty, the end result is a wonderfully shaved pussy!
While we have arguably been evolving as human beings for thousands of years, it does not appear as though some of us have made it to the point where we are capable of yielding simple pieces of equipment like a racquetball racquet. In the following video, this brilliant specimen of human kind shows us just what you can accomplish with a racquetball racquet, a racquetball, and a video camera in the comfort of your own home.
This is nothing less than spectacular and literally had me crying with laughter.
Dressing up in sexy costumes for Halloween is what everyone looks forward to when October rolls around and you can see many new and creative outfits that stop traffic. On the other hand there are certain outfits that have become so common and have been used so often that it seems half the female population chooses the same outfit every year. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with picking an old classic until it becomes more boring than sexy.
One guideline to follow when browsing sexy costumes is not to pick out anything from a trendy movie because you are guaranteed to have another ten people wearing the exact same thing. If every retailer online and offline carries the costume then you had better turn to another option. Try being creative and if you really must choose a movie character then try to go for something that was popular a few years ago if you want to be different. For example a highly chic yet extremely sexy look is The Woman in Red, a classic film featuring the stunningly beautiful Kelly LeBrock. It will be difficult to find a grate with such a strong airflow but you can always use a fan if you really want to show the world your undies.
Another costume that already seems to be walking the streets on its own is the Playboy bunny. You know, tiny clothes, big years and a rabbit tail. We know everyone loves these girls but pick a different animal unless you want to fade into the sea of bunnies that will be everywhere you look. If you insist on being a bunny at least throw in a more creative twist. How about an evil Playboy bunny? Use black ears and a black tail, wear black leather, stilettos and carry a whip. Smoky eye make-up and red lips will complete the look and make sure you stand out from the crowd.
The French maid is another outfit that has gone from classic to ridiculous as everyone and their mother seems to be opting for this outfit. First of all, let’s be realistic, how many of us look sexy after scrubbing the floors or doing the dishes? Right. So try something new this year if you have been turning to your trusty French maid sexy costume year after year. If you really feel the need to remain in the service industry then go as a sexy window washer. All you need is overalls and a tool belt. Cut the legs of the overalls as high as you dare, leave the top unbuttoned with a sexy, lacy bra underneath, add a pair of heavy boots and a cap and you are good to go.
There are just so many ideas that can take a regular outfit to a completely new level and yet everyone seems to stick to the same limited ideas. So how about this year you take a chance and do something different. Instead of that Marlyn Monroe costume how about a pin stripe skirt suit. A short pencil skirt with a high split and a jacket with only a bra underneath, a severe updo for your hair and a pair of glasses will turn you into a tough but extremely hot business woman.
All you have to do is think outside of the box and you will come up with some extremely sexy costumes that have not been done to death.
This kitten seems to be a little concerned about being tickled, can you blame him though, if somebody was ‘Goochy goochy goochy goo’ing me’ I’d be a little concerned.
So your woman is sick of you barely making ends meet throughout this recession; what is a man to do? Well boys and girls, the only logical thing any man would and could do, work harder. Put down the bag of chips and the TV remote and let’s get your ass in gear. If you’ve got debt, it is time to start implementing some debt snowball action. Find another source of money and start paying down your smallest debt first, this might take you a year or two, but if you don’t do something about it now you might let this damn recession get the best of you.
The following are a few things you can do to increase your income in a hurry, provided you aren’t a lazy POS.
Hard Labour
I’m sure you’ve thought of it before, but whether you have a job or not, there is ALWAYS people looking for real men capable of doing hard labour. Lucky for you, hard labour generally pays decently. Here in Vancouver, Canada, $20 an hour is definitely within the boundaries of an attainable wage. Just be warned, hard labour is hard on the body and probably isn’t something you want to be doing the rest of your life so make sure you build yourself an exit strategy.
Start a Painting Business
One of the easiest businesses to startup is a painting business. The startup costs are VERY minimal and if you’ve never painted before you can practice on your own place; it is not hard. Once you become an expert edger, you are ready to start dropping ads in Craiglist and other local classified ads. Once you get a few clients, get some business cards and let your business grow virally. If you are motivated you can make big bucks in this business, I just hope your neck can handle looking up all day.
Write articles online
Maybe you aren’t the brawniest of men and don’t want to be out destroying your body doing hard labour or putting a kink in you neck painting; no worries, there are other options. If you are more geared towards sitting at a desk using your mind, why not try writing articles online for revenue share communities. I wrote an article a day for six months at Infobarrel and consistently make $500 or more a month now; not bad for 20 minutes a day of work.
Network Marketing
The first thing you probably think when you hear network marketing, is pyramid scheme. There are many difference between network marketing and pyramid schemes, one of them being that Network marketing is legal. The one thing you are going to need if you want to succeed with network marketing is perseverance. You need to learn that many people are going to say no, but if you keep asking, the people who do join can help you make a TON of money. While many MLM’s are designed to make the company owners succeed there are a few that are made for the distributors, my personal favourite is Xowii. Xowii was ranked #1 by MLM 500 as the biggest up and coming network marketing opportunity due to how easy it is to sell, retention rates and payment structure. If you know plenty of people, seriously consider getting into network marketing, it is easily found money.
Collect Soda Cans
The first thing you are going to think of when you think of collecting soda or pop cans is that it is for the homeless; why not just pan handle. Well, if you are smart, and actually have access to a truck you can spend your time finding soda can ‘gold mines’, then hit them daily to rake in some extra cash. My favourite places to dig for cans is College campuses, high schools and strip malls. If you are smart, you can easily find $50 in a few hours.
Collecting Scrap Metal
In order to do well with collecting scrap metal you definitely need to have a truck. Next you need to find places like body shops and metal working shops that aren’t very supportive of recycling programs. Next you will need to find a company that recycles steal and will pay you for it. If you can get all of these ingredients lined up, you can make yourself a pretty penny. I’ve seen body shops throwing out entire cabs off destroyed trucks; that is a lot of money worth of metal!
Well ladies, I mean men, if this didn’t get your wheels spinning at least a little bit for ways you can make a little extra money, then maybe you should just continue to sit on your ass and weight for the bank to foreclose on your house; that will wake you up!
Halloween is just a couple weeks ahead and I’m pretty excited. I’ve been running around planning parties, planning my costume and trying to get all the candy ready for the Trick or Treater’s. For being such a strange “Holiday”, Halloween is one of the most fun and American’s alone will spend hundreds of millions of dollars, even in a recession. Reports are coming in of course that spending will be down this year, that’s no surprise. According to this article out yesterday titled, “Retailers fearful of lower Halloween sales“
Retailers are working hard to overcome fears of skeletal Halloween spending. The National Retail Federation predicts that Halloween spending will be down 15 percent to 20 percent this year, and some merchants are preparing for ethereal holiday profits.
Still though I’m not too worried.
This article is all about finding deals, new products, fun time wasting entertainment and just about anything Halloween related I can get my hands on. I’ll try and stick to a theme of money saving tips just because of the recession, but spending during these times is always great on the economy.I think we’ll start with my favorite aspect and go right into Halloween Costumes because I just bought mine online this year for the first time and I saved quite a bit of money. The local shops charge into the hundreds for most costumes whereas I got from Mr Costumes who has hundreds of awesome costumes for under $50 USD. What did I get? I ended up picking the costume of my favorite cereal host, Count Chocula!
Halloween Costumes:
Costumes are the foundation of Halloween these days. You cannot get candy with out em, you’re not going to be a popular person showing up to a party without one either. Most workplaces also promote the wearing of costumes on the day of, so how could you go without? There are a lot of great costumes to choose from whether you’re buying one to save time and the need to sew something yourself. However most of the best costumes are handmade so I won’t forget to include some tutorials to those as well.
Halloween also won’t be complete without piles and piles of candy and every year there seems to be some new awesome stuff to munch on. I’ll lead you folks down a delicious lane of some crazy candy, weird links and of course places to buy the best Halloween candy online.
This section is for all you die hard horror fans who take the time to make your house a living nightmare. I appreciate a house that puts on a good show, or even just a well down front door area to spook the kids. These props are great and if you’re thinking about running a haunted house in the future you cannot do without these resources.
Last but not least are the hundreds of horror movies that set the mood around Halloween. I always end up watching a half dozen movies leading up to Halloween and I love being scared. I had a real hard time choosing my 10 favorites which I think are mandatory movies to watch in October.
Aside from the obvious ways to tell Santa has visited your humble abode, such as gifts under the tree, and stockings full of underwear you will most likely never wear, there are a few other sure fire signs people tend to avoid talking about. Maybe they avoid talking about them because it might knock Santa down a few levels, but we are realists here at Medialunchbox and we will expose some of the less attractive traits of Santa for all they are worth.
Hopefully we don’t get screwed over with lumps of coal for this.
Half Eaten Cookies and half Glass of Milk
A lot of kids get pissed off when they wake up in the morning and the cookies they put out are only half eaten or the glass of milk they prepared for Jolly old St Nick is only missing a sip or two.
Well boys and girls, I hate to single you out, but Santa has millions of friggen houses to visit in one god damn night. Do you really think he’s going to take the time to eat close to a billion cookies? Do you have any idea how many litres of milk that is equal to? To top it off Santa is lactose intolerant and goes down plenty of chimneys, if he dropped a fart as he neared the firey depths of your chimney you could wake up to a nicely roasted jolly fat man. Do you really want that to happen?
Quit being so self centred.
Tipped Over Christmas Tree
I’ve called Mrs. Clause a time or two in regards to Santa’s weight, and we’ve even worked together to put him on an Atkins diet, but Jolly old St. Nick just refuses to lose any of those extra pounds he has put on over the last millennium. As a result of his bowl full of jelly (aka his gut and fat ass) Santa has recently been having troubles maneuvering around the Christmas tree while disbursing all the presents. As he swings around with his big ass and sack of presents he has recently been known for accidentally knocking over Christmas trees.
If you haven’t already switched to LED Christmas lights for environmental reasons (shame on you), you are potentially at risk for a Christmas tree fire. Santa does not cary insurance for this so if your house burns down because of his giant tushy unfortunately all the onus is on you to cover any unexpected costs.
Poop on your Front Lawn
While traditionally Santa’s reindeer’s get parked on rooftops, due to recent deaths involving reindeer actually falling through the roof and crushing sleeping children Santa has decided to begin parking the reindeer on the front lawn. Since Santa can’t consume the millions of cookies he receives on Christmas Eve, he often feeds them to his trusty reindeer. The end result is a lot of terds on a lot of lawns.
When you wake up this Christmas morning, go have a peak outside, at least one house in your neighbourhood should be covered in reindeer shit. If not, you might live in a Jewish neighborhood, to confirm, throw pennies on your sidewalk, if they are gone in less than ten minutes, you are indeed the sole Christian on your block.
Very Satisfied Mom
You might have heard the famous Christmas Carol “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause”, well that this song definitely exists for a reason. Lets just say that Ron Jeremy looks like a shriveled up snail when comparing members with good Ol’ Saint Dick, I mean… Nick.
If your mom seems to be extra cheery on Jesus’ birthday it is not because she is so excited to open her presents. No sirree Bob, Mommy got it last night, and she got it good. If you heard banging on your roof last night, that was NOT the reindeer!
Big Dump in Toilet
After eating your cookies, screwing your mom and knocking your Christmas tree over, Santa has been known to park a lactose intolerant induced deuce in a number of toilets around the globe. You might normally blame your Dad, but the fact of the matter is not many people can clog a toilet quite like Santy Clause.
You will know it was Santa, because he won’t even attempt to flush that bad boy. Nobody wants an unexpected flooded toilet on Christmas Eve, after all Santa knows that plumbers have the night off.
Awwww, isn’t this cute….. Doggeh must love kitteh to not kill him. I tell you, this dog must have undergone years and years of vigorous dog training to resist chewing this little cat in two.
Contrary to popular belief, like girls, Polar bears do actually poop. I know, I know, I was pretty upset too when I wound up girls drop the odd deuce, but after coming to terms with it I’ve decided that girl farts, girl poops and Polar bear diarrhea area actually all bloody hilarious.
What could be funnier than Polar bear diarrhea? Polar bear diarrhea underwater of course!
It has come to my attention that numerous multi-headed sheep have been spotted roaming free on the good old Internet. While I don’t condone the production of multi-headed animals, I have found myself yearning to have a two headed pet sheep of my own. Originally it was a toss up between a two headed goat and a two headed sheep, but after I realized I could easily recycle my two headed sheep into some sheepskin rugs once I was bored of them I was instantly sold!
Now, I figured there would be a lot of skeptics who didn’t believe in two headed sheeps, so I made sure I got plenty of evidence. Below is numerous photographs of real live sheep (well one has had a run in with a taxidermist), so for all you haters out there who are already typing ‘Photoshopped’, kiss my two headed sheep behind.
Yea yea, I know the last one was fake, but the rest are all legit! Got a picture of a two headed sheep I don’t have here? Send it over!
